Showing posts with label morons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label morons. Show all posts

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Another crock of shit: Mother's Day



It's the day before Australian Mother's Day, and I was out at the shops for bread and milk. Thats where I saw them all.

Half the people were out collecting cakes or wines for the lunch, or hauling enormous bouquets of flowers - cause they could think of nothing else. Probably all thinking:

"What the hell does she need that she
wouldnt have bought herself already?"


Then there was the other half. They were even less likeable. Walking around glowing in anticipation of tomorrows adulation. All most likely thinking:

"This year! This will be the year
that all my expectations will be met!"


And most of these are basking in their own beatific glow, as though by the virture of their issue surviving its birth, that they themselves are entitled a sense of accomplishment, and the ongoing worship of our species forever and ever.

For many women though, Mother's day is just the day they all rub your nose in it, publicly. Thinking, but not saying:

"My child survived, and grew! Therefore, I and my child
are superior to you. Now let me tell you about the birth again..."


The onslaught of which has only one rational response:

"As long as your child lives, mine is lucky not to."


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Another thing. If your mother does not feel loved and appreciated every day, then one of you is a total fuck up. Hard for me to say which from here.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I do not blame the surgeon


She did her job, and a damn good one too. Youd have hardly known Id had a lump removed from that breast. Too bad they have to go in again and get the rest of it.

Cause it wasn't what they 'thought' it was. And Im extraordinarily lucky that their 'thought' won't cost me my life. This time anyway.

Moral of the story is this: if you think there is something wrong, and your GP just keeps telling you to "not worry so much", GET ANOTHER OPINION - fast.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Disturbing


Xmas Refugee Road Trip Trivia:

The only things open on Christmas Day:

MickeyD's
KFC
Composting Toilets


Holiday Road Toll 2008:

Un-identifiable Corpses - 17
Sheep/Lambs - 8
Wombat - 3
Possom - 2
Roo/Wallaby - 10
Lizard - 9
Turtle - 1
Fox - 7
Rabbit - 9
Bird - 17
Trailers with one wheel off - 3

Total: 86 dead in 1,231 Kilometres

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Everyones a Christian at Christmas...


...as long as there are gifts involved.

If everyone practiced what they preached all year long instead of applying a core belief system strategically in exchange for cash and prizes*...well, then Id have nothing to complain about.

That would be so cool.

But Christmas, means Christ-mass. Got that? CHRIST-MASS.

Not: Santa Worship Week.
Not: Annual Tree Slaughter.
Not: International Commerce Appreciation Interval.
Not: Financial Castration for the Purposes of Impressing Visiting Relatives Day.

I wish I knew the details for the pic Im using here, Im sure its Mary recieving the Holy Spirit, its beautiful. You might find it interesting that Mary was Jewish.

Personally, Im Atheist all the way. But I would defend your right to believe what you want to believe. I would hope that whatever your belief, that it contains universal ideals like being good to your fellow man, the earth, and all its creatures. Not beating each other over the head in conversion attempts, or blowing each other up in the name of Whomever....ah geeze, dont get me started!!

Just love one another for fux sake!


_____________________________________

* or land, money, power, what have you - history is full of examples, most of which should have served as cautionary tales to avoid making the same mistakes again, but (sigh).

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween, another outdated 'holiday' we cant get rid of because theres too much money to be made



Granted, no one can agree on what Halloween is really about anymore, or where it all began, or who started it. You can read a lot of authoritative sounding info out there. They all claim they hold the absolute truth about Halloween, but they are all equally as wrong and useless as the next.

The way I see it, it is essentially a HARVEST festival.

In Australia, October is SPRING.

So, whats it doing here?

But here it is. Along with so many other "American" money making machines (McDonalds, Big W, the ilk). I admitt, I was dissappointed to discover that the suburbs of Sydney are very much like the suburbs of Anywhere, USA.

I once asked a woman here in Sydney why she let her kids go trick or treating. She replied "Oh, you know, they see it on TV..."

Really? They see it on TV. Thats an interesting parenting technique.

I had to bite my lip really, really hard to avoid asking her the inevitable:
What else do they see on TV that you allow them to do?
Murder? Gang Rape? Base jumping? Soft-core p*rn?
Do you know youre a moron?

Obviously what they dont see on TV is the line up outside the local police station to get the goodies xrayed for sharp metal objects. Nor the school lectures on how to tell if your candy has been tampered with. They call it something like 'safety', but they should just get real and name it "How not to get maimed or killed by eating candy from strangers 101".

When it got this bad stateside, most sensible people stopped going to houses they didnt know who lived in. Parents or older siblings would chaperone younger ones from Aunties house across town to Grandmas and back again for a party at the community centre. (Where you likely still dont know anyone.)

All that sort of thing helps the young ones, thats true. But for other adults, it means a knock at the door you arent expecting, is likely to be trouble. Especially as evening becomes night.

Thats when you get the gangs of teenagers. Gangs of teenage boys who dont even bother with the pretense of a costume. You just know youd better give them some candy - alot of it - without saying a word.

Or else. Thats all. Or else.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Guess again, Batman!


Yeah, its a minor thing, I realize that. So I got pear halves instead of the promised peach slices, I suppose I can survive it.

But damn, I hate Woolworths. Every week I look for more ways to spend less there. Every week I get closer too.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Bad news for Mars



Oh goody. They've confirmed water on Mars.

Bad news for Mars. Look what weve done to Earth!

Bad news for Joe Average of Earth, who will doubtless at some point be called on to fund a Mars ice harvest.

(Bet they are looking for oil too.)


For the record, I am not a fan of space exploration. I think we ought to use all that money to sort out the problems on the surface of this planet we revolve around the Sun on - just for instance - world hunger and the homeless.

Friday, July 18, 2008

I call him weasel boy


Australia, you believed all his campaign promises and elected him.

Already, the disappointment is thick - except in the thick. But I’m sure they will catch up eventually.

Maybe you didn’t like Howard’s ideas. Maybe they scared you. After all, Aussies have a pretty sweet deal here at home.

But things can’t stay as they are if you want to (continue?) (better?) play on par with the rest of the world.

And you do, don’t you? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t all have (or want) cable tv, iPhones, multiple car households, a McDonalds in every suburb, and “Sex in the city“ box sets.

Naysayers, shut yer yaps, you know I’m right. I’ve heard plenty of anti-American sentiment, and have come to understand that a great many people -worldwide- greatly dislike America. Just not enough to shun its consumer goods and ‘culture‘. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Whether you liked him or not, John Howard saw that substantial changes were necessary to help Australia become competitive with other dominant global economic powers. And you voted him out for it. Myopic!

My bet is: Unlike his predecessor, weasel boy will get absolutely nothing of value done toward Australia’s greater good. There’s going to be a lot of lip service, slick used car salesman showmanship and hair styling products on show while he extracts more money from your pocket, and vigorously campaigns to win the next election.

Australia, if you allow that to happen, you will only get what you deserve.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Barak, Nicole, Angelina & the Pope


Barak Obama
Nicole Kidman
Angelina Jolie
the Pope and his World Youth Day

ALL UTTERLY USELESS AND BORING.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

MORONS! RE: water


Water rates for the average household here in Sydney are set to rise by as much as $245 a year PLUS INFLATION by 2012.

Guess why? Cause Iemma thinks its a good idea to build this damned desalination plant, the people of Sydney dont want it, but he thinks they should have it anyway. Iemma and Sydney Water of course. And of course they say they wanted a larger increase - well, of course you did, you greedy forking bastards.

And ones got to wonder just how 'independent' this Independent Pricing and Regulatory Tribunal (IPART) is when they make statements like "Simply, we're allowing for the market conditions so (Sydney Water) can earn more on their investments." (IPART chief executive Jim Cox)

What about THE PEOPLE? Are the people here just to help big corporations increase thier wealth? Why is it always about the goddamned shareholders?

Actually in the majority of cases, people in general are usually all too willing to line up to hand over thier hard earned cash to a wealthy multi-national in exchange for (in the main) crappy goods (that end up in landfill later).

But for the love of whatever you hold holy or dear - this is water for forks sake! People cant live without it. How does that translate to 'we can charge whatever makes the most money for us'?

But wait, they put the boot in yesterday!

Water Restrictions eased to allow car washing. Why or why couldnt that have been a joke?

Somehow, after years in drought, the dams are back up to about 65% capacity and WOW! We can start wasting it again - on our cars, but not our gardens!

Oh no, dont you go try to resurrect that veggie garden yet! They have more plans to make more money out of you. Growing your own would interfere with that.

Its not like we couldnt wash the car at home before, its just we can use more water doing it (hose vs bucket). You know, for all the water patrols - the rev heads in my neighborhood never changed thier ways - so big damned hairy deal I guess.

Perhaps the only good thing about being able to wash the car is, since no one can afford the petrol to drive them anywhere, at least they will look nice parked in thier driveways.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Philosphy: Stuff




I have decided that it is the nature of humans to desire.

At first, only for the basics, (food and shelter); then something higher, (belonging or love).

Those taken care of, humans seem particularly afflicted with the want of "stuff". Most "stuff" most people desire is complete rubbish, but they want it nonetheless. They also dont seem particularly fussed about tossing it in landfill once theyve set thier eyes on something new. Fickle AND Moronic!

If then, the problem is only that we are human, what is the solution?