Nearly drugged to death

...but almost free.

Another crock of shit: Mother's Day

It's the day before Australian Mother's Day, and I was out at the shops for bread and milk. Thats where I saw them all.

Half the people were out collecting cakes or wines for the lunch, or hauling enormous bouquets of flowers - cause they could think of nothing else. Probably all thinking:

"What the hell does she need that she
wouldnt have bought herself already?"

Then there was the other half. They were even less likeable. Walking around glowing in anticipation of tomorrows adulation. All most likely thinking:

"This year! This will be the year
that all my expectations will be met!"

And most of these are basking in their own beatific glow, as though by the virture of their issue surviving its birth, that they themselves are entitled a sense of accomplishment, and the ongoing worship of our species forever and ever.

For many women though, Mother's day is just the day they all rub your nose in it, publicly. Thinking, but not saying:

"My child survived, and grew! Therefore, I and my child
are superior to you. Now let me tell you about the birth again..."

The onslaught of which has only one rational response:

"As long as your child lives, mine is lucky not to."

_______________
Another thing. If your mother does not feel loved and appreciated every day, then one of you is a total fuck up. Hard for me to say which from here.

Everyones a Christian at Christmas...

...as long as there are gifts involved.

If everyone practiced what they preached all year long instead of applying a core belief system strategically in exchange for cash and prizes*...well, then Id have nothing to complain about.

That would be so cool.

But Christmas, means Christ-mass. Got that? CHRIST-MASS.

Not: Santa Worship Week.
Not: Annual Tree Slaughter.
Not: International Commerce Appreciation Interval.
Not: Financial Castration for the Purposes of Impressing Visiting Relatives Day.

I wish I knew the details for the pic Im using here, Im sure its Mary recieving the Holy Spirit, its beautiful. You might find it interesting that Mary was Jewish.

Personally, Im Atheist all the way. But I would defend your right to believe what you want to believe. I would hope that whatever your belief, that it contains universal ideals like being good to your fellow man, the earth, and all its creatures. Not beating each other over the head in conversion attempts, or blowing each other up in the name of Whomever....ah geeze, dont get me started!!

Just love one another for fux sake!

_____________________________________

* or land, money, power, what have you - history is full of examples, most of which should have served as cautionary tales to avoid making the same mistakes again, but (sigh).

Nothing against BBQd Lamb but...

...this is just wrong.

That is all, carry on.

Halloween, another outdated 'holiday' we cant get rid of because theres too much money to be made

Granted, no one can agree on what Halloween is really about anymore, or where it all began, or who started it. You can read a lot of authoritative sounding info out there. They all claim they hold the absolute truth about Halloween, but they are all equally as wrong and useless as the next.

The way I see it, it is essentially a HARVEST festival.

In Australia, October is SPRING.

So, whats it doing here?

But here it is. Along with so many other "American" money making machines (McDonalds, Big W, the ilk). I admitt, I was dissappointed to discover that the suburbs of Sydney are very much like the suburbs of Anywhere, USA.

I once asked a woman here in Sydney why she let her kids go trick or treating. She replied "Oh, you know, they see it on TV..."

Really? They see it on TV. Thats an interesting parenting technique.

I had to bite my lip really, really hard to avoid asking her the inevitable:
What else do they see on TV that you allow them to do?
Murder? Gang Rape? Base jumping? Soft-core p*rn?
Do you know youre a moron?

Obviously what they dont see on TV is the line up outside the local police station to get the goodies xrayed for sharp metal objects. Nor the school lectures on how to tell if your candy has been tampered with. They call it something like 'safety', but they should just get real and name it "How not to get maimed or killed by eating candy from strangers 101".

When it got this bad stateside, most sensible people stopped going to houses they didnt know who lived in. Parents or older siblings would chaperone younger ones from Aunties house across town to Grandmas and back again for a party at the community centre. (Where you likely still dont know anyone.)

All that sort of thing helps the young ones, thats true. But for other adults, it means a knock at the door you arent expecting, is likely to be trouble. Especially as evening becomes night.

Thats when you get the gangs of teenagers. Gangs of teenage boys who dont even bother with the pretense of a costume. You just know youd better give them some candy - alot of it - without saying a word.

Or else. Thats all. Or else.

VD, STD, MEMES

Same clap, different medium?

My Evil Twin Tagged me with the SEVEN THINGS ABOUT ME meme.

What seven things could anyone possibly want to know about me?

Cranky
Possibly justifiably
Inflexible - mentally AND physically. Damnnit.
Impatient
Intolerant
Insufficiently caffeinated
Hate all the neighbors

Pfffft! Im not tagging anybody.

Dont comment! No Body Should Comment! Tsk. Eye roll.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Surgery Countdown

Get this widget!

(Yes, this means it will be up to one year before my number comes up and I get one hand done...after that I can go on the list for the other.)

Is there any other kind?

Quitting Smoking Gave Me Diabetes

Oh yes it did.

And you know what, Im sure that me dying of heart disease due to smoking would have cost the health care system a LOT less than keeping me alive with diabetes. I sure as shit would have been a lot more pleasant to be around through the whole process too.

So, all you anti-smoking nazis out there, the jokes on you! Not only do you not get all that juicy revenue that this ex-smoker provided (and for which you should be eternally grateful), but you will have me around longer to penalize you for your bitching about my smoking.

And before anyone gets on thier high horse and gives me the second hand smoke bullshit, there is something else you should consider:

Once I quit smoking, I found myself gagging on the smell of car exhaust everywhere I went....but can I walk up to everyone in a car and bitch at them about what they are making me breathe?

So if you want to try to lecture me, youd better be damn sure youre 'without sin' yourself.

Bad news for Mars

Oh goody. They've confirmed water on Mars.

Bad news for Mars. Look what weve done to Earth!

Bad news for Joe Average of Earth, who will doubtless at some point be called on to fund a Mars ice harvest.

(Bet they are looking for oil too.)


For the record, I am not a fan of space exploration. I think we ought to use all that money to sort out the problems on the surface of this planet we revolve around the Sun on - just for instance - world hunger and the homeless.