Another crock of shit: Mother's Day

It's the day before Australian Mother's Day, and I was out at the shops for bread and milk. Thats where I saw them all.

Half the people were out collecting cakes or wines for the lunch, or hauling enormous bouquets of flowers - cause they could think of nothing else. Probably all thinking:

"What the hell does she need that she
wouldnt have bought herself already?"

Then there was the other half. They were even less likeable. Walking around glowing in anticipation of tomorrows adulation. All most likely thinking:

"This year! This will be the year
that all my expectations will be met!"

And most of these are basking in their own beatific glow, as though by the virture of their issue surviving its birth, that they themselves are entitled a sense of accomplishment, and the ongoing worship of our species forever and ever.

For many women though, Mother's day is just the day they all rub your nose in it, publicly. Thinking, but not saying:

"My child survived, and grew! Therefore, I and my child
are superior to you. Now let me tell you about the birth again..."

The onslaught of which has only one rational response:

"As long as your child lives, mine is lucky not to."

_______________
Another thing. If your mother does not feel loved and appreciated every day, then one of you is a total fuck up. Hard for me to say which from here.

I do not blame the surgeon

She did her job, and a damn good one too. Youd have hardly known Id had a lump removed from that breast. Too bad they have to go in again and get the rest of it.

Cause it wasn't what they 'thought' it was. And Im extraordinarily lucky that their 'thought' won't cost me my life. This time anyway.

Moral of the story is this: if you think there is something wrong, and your GP just keeps telling you to "not worry so much", GET ANOTHER OPINION - fast.

Oculus Sinister, Self Portrait

My Oculus Sinister.

I am blind in my left eye, but with it I see that which is hidden.


__________________

The right eye is called Oculus Dexter.

Goodbye Cruel World!

I have decided to eat a 800 gram box of bran, then lock myself in a small room with a box of matches.

Previously on this blog, I complained about developing diabetes. About two weeks after that, I finally got my chance to see a diabetes dietician, who explained to me how to control my blood glucose levels using the carbohydrate exchange system.

All well and good, a big adjustment to make, but well worth the effort. After all, who wants to go blind or start having toes off, right?

But for some reason today, all I want is chocolate covered cookies. Yes, yes, I could have ONE....but WHAT THE HELL GOOD IS ONE GONNA DO?

Can I get a witness?

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Surgery Countdown

Get this widget!

(Yes, this means it will be up to one year before my number comes up and I get one hand done...after that I can go on the list for the other.)

Quitting Smoking Gave Me Diabetes

Oh yes it did.

And you know what, Im sure that me dying of heart disease due to smoking would have cost the health care system a LOT less than keeping me alive with diabetes. I sure as shit would have been a lot more pleasant to be around through the whole process too.

So, all you anti-smoking nazis out there, the jokes on you! Not only do you not get all that juicy revenue that this ex-smoker provided (and for which you should be eternally grateful), but you will have me around longer to penalize you for your bitching about my smoking.

And before anyone gets on thier high horse and gives me the second hand smoke bullshit, there is something else you should consider:

Once I quit smoking, I found myself gagging on the smell of car exhaust everywhere I went....but can I walk up to everyone in a car and bitch at them about what they are making me breathe?

So if you want to try to lecture me, youd better be damn sure youre 'without sin' yourself.